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En tro følgesvend og (u)ven i nøden!

Den dårlig samvittighed… Gud! hvor jeg hader den! Jeg prøver virkelig at nyde nuet og fylde dagene med ting jeg elsker. Men det er ikke altid super let!

Det er som om hovedet og tankerne hele tiden er på vej et nyt sted hen. Tanker om skulle, burde og kunne istedet for bare at være tilstede og se hvad der byder sig. En lille uglet djævel med spidse røde horn der siger, ”hmmm, hva så nu?... skal du ikke lave noget fornuftigt?”... 

Jeg kender ham faktisk særdeles godt, den lille fyr. Som trofast følgesvend, har han fulgt mig gennem det meste at livet og taget det gode potentiale ud af utallige søndage (og andre ugedage, men mest søndag). Faktisk prøvede jeg engang at tegne ham og bede ham om at skride. Det hjalp lidt, men indimellem sniger han sig stadig ind i tankerne og forsøger at tage sin plads.

Der bliver bare så trængt derinde, når vi skal være der begge to. Egentlig gider jeg slet ikke være oppe i hovedet. Jeg vil meget hellere være et andet og mindre kaotisk sted, hvor man kan mærke mere og ikke bliver overvældet af en lidt for veludviklet og levende fantasi. 

Når det nu alligevel en gang imellem går galt, så gælder det om at sætte sig op på hesten og ride tilbage til nuet og det der byder sig - og allerhelst uden at dunke sig selv oveni hovedet! 

Dårlig samvittighed er vel dybest set en tilstand vi selv vælger og som ikke bringer noget positivt med sig. 


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