lup

Om at være god nok…

Ja, hvornår er man egentlig god nok? Det er virkelig et svært spørgsmål, for der er så mange parametre at måle på. Der er et hav af mennesker, som ikke føler sig gode nok, hvilket jo egentlig er skørt.

På det menneskelige og indre plan kan vi vel egentlig ikke vurdere hinandens værdi. Det er kun dig selv, der kan vurdere, om du som menneske er god nok. Det går først rigtig galt, når vi begynder at måle os selv med andre. Det er jeg virkelig slem til!

Jeg sammenligner mig selv med alt det bedste fra både virkeligheden og Facebook (som selektiv virkelighed) og må erkende, at jeg kan simpelthen ikke leve op til noget af det. Jeg har ikke en strålende karriere, jeg bager ikke friskbagte boller hver dag, bor ikke i et flot hus og taler ikke altid blidt og anerkendende til mine børn.

Men i virkeligheden er det jo os selv, der sætter helt latterlige kriterier op for, hvornår vi er gode nok. Kriterier som vi samler fra alt det bedste, vi kan opsnuse udenfor os selv...men som vi i bund og grund, selv kan vælge at definere.

I stedet for at vurdere ud fra mine indre værdier, kommer jeg ofte til at se ud fra skulle, burde, kunne kriterier. Allesammen hører de til i verdenen udenfor mig selv. Uanset hvor jeg kigger, er der nogen der har gjort det bedre end mig. Det betyder, at der ikke er nogen øvre grænse for, hvornår noget er godt nok. Faren her bliver en konstant stræben efter nogle mål, som samlet set er helt uopnåelig og som vi ofte ikke engang selv bevidst har sat.

Vi er alle sammen vidt forskellige med forskellige værdisæt. Når vi nu kan vælge selv at definere hvad der er godt nok, hvorfor så ikke sætte barren ud fra, hvad der giver mening inde i os selv?

For mit eget vedkommende tillæger jeg det stor værdi, at have (ikke mange men) tætte og tillidsfulde relationer. Nærvær og oprigtighed er nøgleord for mig. Jeg prioriterer mine børns trivsel og at vi har tid sammen i hverdagen. Skal jeg måle mig selv i lyset at dette, fremkalder det helt andre følelser hos mig i forhold til at være god nok.

Det er så vigtigt at huske, at vi selv kan bestemme det lys, vi kaster over os selv....


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